notable animal residents of jersey city: canada geese.

It’s possible you refer to these notable animal residents of Jersey City as “Canadian” geese. It’s actually “Canada” geese, if you want to be a dick about it.

I want to be a dick about it.

Canada geese are everywhere, in Jersey City and across the whole state and also in New York and Pennsylvania and possibly beyond that. They have taken over this land. And unlike their human countrymen they are mean as hell.

Beyond outraged.

They use the bathroom all over everything. The sidewalks, the roads, the grass. Our high school sports fields were fully defiled by them. I used to have to do cartwheels and back handsprings through through those fields. DO YOU THINK I LIKED PUTTING MY HAND ON GOOSE SHIT BY ACCIDENT BECAUSE I DIDN’T.

Some places (ahem, Brooklyn) have resorted to hunting them with dogs. They have literally released the hounds. Or maybe it was like sheep dogs? These geese got straight up Lassie-ed. If by “Lassie-ed” you mean ripped to shreds by a carnivore.

Okay after I looked this up I found that the Lassies and the actual killing of geese were two separate things. In 2009 geese in Prospect Park were capture and killed by gas and thrown in a dump. Which is heartbreaking and way less badass than a noble death by a natural predator. I’m pretty sad about it.

The problem is, they ARE invasive. Like they always were around some of the time, but only when they were migrating. Then one day they were like “omg we honkin’ heart the tri state area let’s stay FOREVS.” And then they did.

And honestly, I love them. I love them like I love all birds and all animal life that can thrive within a city, because seeing that animal life makes me happy.

But they ARE straight up dicks. They are PISSED OFF. They DO NOT LIKE YOUR TONE. Mostly I think they don’t want people by their babies and/or nests but they act like dicks even when it’s not baby season.

K see ya.

Speaking of baby season, it’s baby season now! These cuties! For a couple of weeks every spring, Jersey City residents forget how annoyed they are by Canada geese and they turn into local celebs.

They march their little families all around the town – through Newport Green, across the whole length of Liberty State Park, in a murky puddle on Marin Ave. They’re everywhere! I don’t really know their habits for sure but they seem to be in committed couples and sometimes the parents have two batches of chicks with them that are two different ages. This seems like a bold family planning strategy for a goose couple to take on and I salute them.

For the past couple of days I have been practicing this camera and taking pictures of my Canada goose pals. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do. If not I don’t know what to tell you.

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